ভয় হতে তব অভয়মাঝে নূতন জনম দাও হে
The above lines were a favourite of Dadima–my Dadima. Whenever I went to her room she would want to hear this song. When I used to ask ‘আজ কোন গানটা শুনবে?’ The answer always was ‘ভয় হতে তব অভয়মাঝে’ then came any other song. This song is now one of my favourites too. Everytime I sing this song it gives me a new strength. The words are so powerful!
Dadima–Its been two years since she has left us. Today (16th Feb) is her second death anniversary. Since morning I was remembering her. Let me first dive into my memory and say a few words about her.
Generally Bengali kids call their paternal grandparents Thakurda/Dadu or Thakuma/Dida. However my grandparents wanted me to call them Dada and Dadima. Now I feel its a blessing because these are much better than the usual calls. During my childhood Dada and Dadima used to stay in a place called Mihijam near Chittaranjan in Bihar. I remember visiting that place only once. I have been living with my parents in Kolkata — first in Santoshpur and then in Paikpara. My grandparents used to often visit us. But when Dada’s health became poorer they shifted their base from Mihijam to Kolkata and we all started staying in Kolkata. Dada passed away in 1993. Though I remember him vividly I cannot recall any incidents associated with him.
Dadima was the most soft spoken person that I had ever seen. She had a wonderful smile. She was a good poet and good at stitching. She used to have an embroidery school in Mihijam. I was Dadima’s beloved Khuktusi. She pampered me as much as possible and I have no regret for that. Dadima’s days always began with listening to the radio. This helped me become aware of the various programmes aired on radio. She used to have Complan and Horlicks regularly. This resulted in another habit inculcated in me – to enjoy eating Horlicks/Complan ’emni emni’. It became a daily affair. I would take a spoon. Take out a heapful of Horlicks, have it, wash the spoon and do the same with Complan. I used to love it. Another delicacy that Dadima used to have was bel er morobba. I used to have my share from that too. Then there were some other sweets like shonpapri and chardrapuli which we were both fond of. She also had her own way of having wood apple (Bel). After removing the shell, she would de-seed it and make small balls out of them.
It was often that we would play various indoor games specially Uno, Monopoly and of course who can forget cards–Golam chor, Petapeti, and my most favourite screw. I was quite undaunted as a child and did not like losing in a game. Once we were playing screw and as I was on the verge of losing started resorting to unfair means. Dadima quietly continued playing without protest. Then when things went out of hand she asked very softly (much like her nature) “আচ্ছা ভাই, তোমার সঙ্গে যদি কেউ এমন করতো তোমার কেমন লাগতো?” I promptly replied “তাহলে আমি গোলমাল পাকাতাম”. Once we were playing monopoly. I could not match up to her and was losing badly. I dismissed the game and proudly said “চলো uno খেলি তোমায় একশো-দুশো point এ হারাবো”
I also remember as a child we used to play ‘school-school’. She used to be the teacher and I her student. I do not recall what I used to learn but there used to be a tiffin break and the foodie that I was (and still am) I used to look forward to it. I used to have muri and a piece of coin chocolate (Chocolate in the shape of a coin).
There is another very famous story involving Dadima and me. I had once accompanied her to a local temple. I was hardly 4-5 then. The purohit asked Dadima what my name was.Before Dadima could reply I confidently said “দীপান্বিতা দত্ত ভরদ্বাজ গোত্র “. Both of them where quite surprised by my answer as I had also told my gotra which no one had asked. Now I know that whenever one goes to a temple to offer prayer they have to tell their name and gotra. But how it had occured to me in that young age I still do not know.
Dadima was very fond of Rabindranath Tagore and had great respect for him. They had exchanged letters a few times. Once Dadima had requested him to write a poem which would have her name in it. Rabindranath kept her request and wrote the following poem:
প্রথম আলোর আভাস লাগিল গগনে/তৃণে তৃণে ঊষা সাজাল শিশিরকণা/যারে নিবেদিল তাহারি পিপাসী কিরণে/নিঃশেষ হোলো রবি-অভ্যর্থনা
Dadima was married on the day Rabindranath died. The news of his death was hidden from her as she might be upset. She was indeed very upset when she heard the news.There was great influence of Tagore in her life. She would often read his works. I heard Baba reading to her from books written by him.
Dadima was a good poet. She would write poetry for most occasions and people. On my twelfth birthday she gifted me my first Swarabitan (Notation book of Rabindrasangeet). She wrote the following lines for me:
“খুকতুসি তর বয়স হোলো বারো/ আশির্ব্বাদের সঙ্গে জানাই ভালোবাসা আরও”
What better blessing can there be!
Dadima spent the last two-three years of her life with us. She had lost mobility but luckily she had no serious ailments apart from diabetes. She became like a child and reminded me of the Tagore song “যা পেয়েছি প্রথম দিনে সেই যেন পাই শেষে/ দু হাত দিয়ে বিশ্বেরে ছুঁই শিশুর মতো হেসে”. Dadima enjoyed when I sang to her. She would often ask me to sing her favourite songs.
Like the peaceful person she was ,her death was peaceful too. It was 16th February 2010. She finished having breakfast and after taking bath she was lying on the bed. After a few moments when we went to the room she was no more. It was as if the flame of a burning lamp was put off.
I still miss Dadima. Whenever I sing a song specially her favourite ones I remember her. I feel she is amidst us always with her ever smiling face.
Roj Koto Ki Ghote Jaha Taha 